I write this for myself. To remind myself because I tend to forget.
In a time where one is connected to other people's life through many forms of social media, it's hard not to notice the differences in your life and that of others. They get shoved in front of our faces, pictures, words, all screaming "Hey look at me, my life is wonderful!" It seems to me that to live differently takes more courage. You would want what others have, it's hard to convince yourself you have enough, or you need not be like that.
But the truth is, we really need not be like everybody else- follow the mainstream, live in a way that is defined to be "successful"or "meaningful".
You live the way you want, and do the things you deem worthy. It's hard, but the following steps will help you as well as me fight this social media jealousy syndrome.
Three levels of Specialty
I see everyone as having some specialties within them-- maybe I am better at seeing the good than the bad side. Some people invest big bucks in physical things to make themselves feel good, often in clothes or gadgets. But to me this is the lowest form of "specialty", and I will tell you why.I do it myself, but not to the extent of making it a specialty of me such that people will associate the idea with me. These things can be expensive yet they are extremely cheap: anyone with money can claim them theirs in seconds. That's why the idea of having a wardrobe full of designer clothing won't appeal as much as having read a shelf of books.
The next level that really earns my respect is possessing knowledge in a particular field. It can be anything: anime, culture of a small tribal society or even recipe on cooking a particular dish. These knowledge not only enriches the mind, but some even have practical value. Its worth also lies in the fact that it takes time and more effort to obtain- no one becomes an expert overnight, and you sure cannot get it with money. People with knowledge is also a pleasure to spend time with, they normally have wits, and make enjoyable conversations.
The highest level of specialty is being a master of a particular skills. It can be break-dancing, cooking, playing a certain instrument or speaking a foreign language. These take years and years of learning, refining and perfecting. Doing it like a pro is definitely not easy. Its worth as well as that of possessing knowledge lies in the fact that both are latent. No one sees you have it until you reveal them yourself, but even then, simply knowing you do empowers you.
Know Your Strength
Thinking about my strength always helps me stay clear of unhealthy gravitation. We all oooh and aaah when we see others enjoying life, we want to do what they can, we want to have their specialty, sometimes we lose ourselves in jealousy, even envy, or impulse, and gravitate towards gaining those specialty. But, soon you'll find that it's so hard. What awaits us is probably a sense of defeat, because we are not as good as others in doing those things.
So before you gravitate towards those things, look at yourself. Think long and hard.
Ask yourself, what am I good at? What am I best at? That will probably help you steer clear and focus, more than any thing else.
I've always believed I'm good in languages. I picked up Mandarin literally within days when I was 6, having just arrived in China from Myanmar. When I went to Shanghai at 11, I spoke like a native soon after. Of course I wish I could stop being an idiot when it comes to understanding my econometric notes, but I'm not disheartened for long. I'll think: "but that's not my strength, I know my strength!"
Know your strength, and work on it. Don't look back!
Mind is Eternal, Keep it Curious
The only thing that cannot be taken away from you, is not your wealth, your possession, but your mind and your skills. It does deteriorate with the passing of time- skills getting eroded and memory fading with time, but still, nothing other than time can take them away from you.
The overall idea of this piece of entry is that, invest in your brain, not your materialistic worth. The best way is to imitate the children - be curious.
Keep your mind keen, and curious, and you shall never be bored again!
Surround Yourself with the Right People
Now you know how to classify specialties into categories, the next step would just be to surround yourself with people of higher level of strength. I'm not proposing that you should discriminate people based on what they can do, I'm just saying you should be aware of the benefits and drawbacks of having certain types of people around you.
People with low levels of specialty tend to spend a lot of money into beautifying/ glorifying their lives with materialistic things. Unless you enjoy doing that yourselves you would hardly feel comfortable with them around. You don't want to have to deal with this "social media jealousy" every time you see he/she shares some new pair of designer jeans he/she bought on Facebook.
On the other hand, people with skills/knowledge are more likely to be interesting and down-to-earth. They are usually keen to learn in general, and are great companions in travelling and having conversations with, because they are not only resourceful but intelligent!
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