Well, to begin with, I was not supposed to sleep in the first place.
I was suppose to be studying, for the upcoming M.E test, and also to prepare myself for the Cambridge Interview, to prepare myself for the BIG DAY.
My mind was always wondering away when I'm studying, and when it's not, sleepiness took over. With this kind of efficiency, it's hardly gonna lead to to anywhere.
No fantastic score,no scholarship, and I have just killed the opportunity to study at Cambridge with my own bare hands.
The truth is, a lot of forces are playing within me: inferior complex, the inability to reconcile between what I think I should be and what I ACTUALLY am, the uninspiring patterns of everyday life. To be able to state all these, I acknowledge their existence, but I also acknowledge that each and every one of them was a result of a series of mistaken steps taken on my part. So I'm obviously the personification of Argentine throughout the 20th century.
It is simply horrendous that one is able to see the truth crystal clear and is unwillingly to take actions towards that truth. I'm well aware of my shortcomings, and and know exactly how they are hampering me, obscuring the future and all. I know exactly what to do to achieve those great things in life, yet I remain stuck in my old ways, living my life lavishing on those virtual dreams that keep pulling me away from reality. My feet are no longer firmly rooted to the ground, and I feel like running away from a place when I have barely sat there long enough. Future seems so obscure, I'm not sure I will make it there one day.
Another truth is, it is simply so hard when you are all on your own. Once again, you dont have to feel this way. Isolationist as I've always been, the road ahead must traveled by me and me alone.
