Saturday, July 19, 2014

去台灣學到的東西

又回到了炎熱的新加坡,很巧的今天上Facebook就看到了朋友發的狀態,感嘆在台灣旅行時候感受的熱情。

是啊,回坡了,好像頓時少了什麼。

少了那股熱情,少了社會裡面人與人之間的互相理解,博愛大愛的精神,還有普通台灣人為生活拼搏,奮鬥的身影。這些元素,很難同時存在于一個地方。大陸人,某些夠熱情,但是缺少了和諧社會和博愛精神。新加坡,社會夠和諧,可是在人情味和拼搏方面遜色了很多。在我生活過得地方中,可以與之相較的就是緬甸了。

台灣離不開小吃,但是台灣美食之所以能夠享譽世界,種類繁多,我覺得和台灣人吃苦耐勞,愛拼破,愛創新的精神分不開。

在其他很多地方,吃是次要的,年輕人很少願意委屈自己,為一個小吃攤位打拼。可是在台灣,一個小小的魚圓店就是動輒三四十年。一代又一代。而且為了保證質量和口感等,往往願意耗時耗力,親力親為,意在做出讓客人滿意的食物。這種對品質的追求,真的很難得。

不管老小,在小小的店裡,靠自己的那雙手,為食客煮,炒,煎,烤。因為是自己的店,做起來當然就特別努力,即使再辛苦,也不會忘記對顧客微笑,儘量滿足顧客的需求。我們第一天晚上去吃滷味,看到老闆低頭慢慢地熬煮滷味,大汗淋漓的樣子,我心裡就會充滿感動。吃的時候,就會想起老闆的辛苦。要知道7月的台灣是非常非常熱得,他悶在又熱又小的店面里,多而不容易。當時那個畫面給我很大的震撼,導致當天晚上我久久不得入眠。那是一種為了生命力,一種頑強的態度。沒有無奈,沒有抱怨,沒有“身不由己”的疲憊感。


激勵到我的,滷味店的老闆。大部份時間都在低頭熬煮,可以想像一天下來脖子會有多痠痛!但是他完全沒有疲憊感,笑容可掬的樣子,很可愛呢。

類似這位老闆的台灣人,還有很多。他們有阿公阿嬤類型的,也有年輕創業型的,但無不努力地經營自己的小攤位。

反觀新加坡,在這個行業里,創業的少,創新的更少。為自己的店發奮努力的,更是很難遇到。所以小吃來來去去就是那幾樣。而店裡面站著的,大多都不是創業者,而是為別人打工的。因為不是自己的事業,不盡全力是理所當然的,服務態度不好,也司空見慣了。能偷懶就偷懶,能請假就請假,不論是哪個行業,新加坡人抱有一種心理,就是不佔老闆的便宜,偷個懶,利用一下公司的福利,就虧待了自己。偷了懶,又買了乖,才有賺到了的感覺。久而久之,好像做任何事情,都不再是為了自己,走到哪裡,都有上司,有老闆,我們的一言一行,都有一個Big Brother 在監視著。所以很多事情,不知道是發自內心,還是害怕被抓到把柄而做的。那是一種無法掙脫(或沒有勇氣掙脫)奴隸般的窘境。

在台灣,在捷運里主動讓位的年輕人,應該不是受到類似Stomp這類輿論的威脅,或是受到民眾在各大報刊輿論版的投訴信的影響吧?


賣手工炸豆腐的是一對老夫婦,60歲左右的樣子,阿嬤負責煎炸,阿公負責端盤打包。老老少少都在奮鬥哦!


Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Taking Stock

It's been two months since my last entry, and I'm sure the most predictable thing to say next will be: so many things have changed.

Talking about change, here's a line that is going to be my favorite for a long time. "We perceive time passing through change- seasons, aging, things like that. So to expand our time on earth, we must incite as much change in our lives as possible."

How simple, yet so true!

No wonder the past couple of months feel longer than ever. Well I didn't like all of the changes, cuz I didn't choose all of them . I was first thrown into this dark whirlpool of pain and heartbreak. But at the end it all turns out well, they end up teaching me many valuable lessons, many part of me, my new traits, my thinking and attitude form from reflecting on that period of my life. And...not forgetting the beautiful tattoo it's given me the reason to get! Whenever I become aware of it (sometimes you forget that you've gotten one), it lights up a little inside. :)

The nice changes that I chose to incite, are to be more loving (what my tattoo reminds me to do), forgiving, understanding, open-minded,  basically to have a big heart! Also, I've gotten into the habit of eating healthy and working out on a daily basis. It's the physical part of cultivating beauty! I believe the good things will ensue once you put yourself in the happy, grateful state of mind, and a fit physical state. And so far, I'm right.

Relationship wise, it's more amazing than ever, we are getting closer every day. Friendship wise, I've gotten much closer with Nishi and Stefie. Well, trust is one of the things I learned, it is the most important ingredient of lasting, rewarding friendship that brings so much joy, love and meaning to my life! (Secretly I'm doubtful if I would remain an active blogger, because I've learned to share my heart and soul with friends and loved ones...that blog might have to stay aside for a while  )

Work wise, I've learned to find a greater purpose to the things we call work: academic work, revising for exams, part-time job ect. It's definitely one of the ways of life, a path to find this evasive thing we call happiness- that is to find meaning behind everything in life- the good, the bad,the blessings and the curses:)

Next up in finding happiness: to put in that effort for revision!





Wednesday, March 26, 2014

妈妈的心情

妈,在搞莫
妈妈说 在做衣服
我问妈妈 缝衣服 给哪过?
妈妈说 给我自己

知道妈妈现在过着平淡的生活
做做衣服 养养花 我好欣慰
因为这份平静 来得太不容易

现在的我  终于能够了解 妈妈当时的心情
当你爱的男人 不爱你
当你爱的男人 爱上别人

就像硫酸 浇过你的心脏
腐蚀你的血和肉以后 散发出令人窒息的浓烟
封住你的喉咙

然后闪电般的 带走你躯体的温度
让你蜷缩在应该温暖的房间里
颤抖
颤抖
颤抖

现在的我  终于明白 妈妈当时的煎熬
竭斯底里和疯狂的背后 站的是一个失去了爱的女人
她有多疯狂 她就有多卑微
她有多极端 她就有多脆弱

理智 成了被困在痛苦中的俘虏
只有时间  才是她的救赎
一年 两年 三年
一天 两天 三天
在昼夜交替之间
在一呼一吸之间
她苦苦撑着

为的就是重拾那份
对生活支离破碎的信心
然后好好的活下去





Saturday, March 22, 2014

Doing and Saying


Recently I've been thinking about this theme of connecting with people. The question I'm curious about is what leaves a greater impact, one's actions or words.

For a long time I believed that doing is more important than saying, or actions more important than words. (it's been my mantra, like a guiding principle, and caused me to make some mistakes in relationship and...just life in general).

The reasons I took up that firm belief were:

1) I did not always feel confident "talking" to people. 

Well honestly there were many times when I felt intimidated by the situation for no obvious reasons. Normally in this "mode" I wouldn't want to talk, and couldn't engage in a group conversation. My brain just shut off and I lose the ability to entertain people and be entertained.

That normally happens when I'm trapped with colleagues in a small space (people I'm not close to but know I'd have to spend a lot of time with). I felt uneasy and awkward in the sense that if I feel that they're not interested in talking to me, I'll quickly feel disheartened and won't take the initiative to talk to them. Very passive in a way. Yea.

This bothered me a lot, because I thought I wasn't out going enough, I'm anti-social and this and that..I got quite carried away so much so that at the back of my mind I kinda always had this feeling that people don't like me.   So as a way to make myself feel better I always told myself it's ok, what you say or don't say doesn't matter, it's what you do that define you as a person. Sure it did help take those worries off my mind. I stopped loathing myself constantly, and instead focused on doing things that make me feel good about myself, like doing more work in a group setting.

At the end of the day, I do want people to think good of me. And I still care how people think of me. Though definitely not as much as before. 

2) People are forgetful. 

Not that they really forget, but people's feelings change, circumstances change. We not only change emotionally and psychologically within, but also change in response to our surroundings, the people and friends around us. We get influenced by friend and family and happenings all the time. So there can hardly be anything uttered by the mouth,  that can forever seal in the state of something. 

That's why I don't believe in promises (relationship-wise), things like 非你不娶 or 我认定你了. And I don't think guys who say these and later break up with the girls are 负心汉. Simply because any such phrases should not be held accountable. They only hold true when they are said, but not necessarily after. It's like breaking up the present and future, and looking at today and tomorrow as distinct, separate time periods. Every period is fresh, new, and independent of one another.

I'm sure they mean it when they say it. But so many changes happen that it can be very far from the truth afterwards.  A lot of things that we say, belong to this category. 

So I told myself, what I say will be quickly forgotten, let me not be bothered by my inability to say nice things. Just focus on doing the nice things (for others and myself). 

For the past two months of so I realized I've put too little time in connecting with people the right way, and instead spent too much time immersed in work. Studies and house work. Always in a rush, always doing something. In the process of "doing", I missed out on a lot:

Things like just focusing on the person talking to you, thinking of ways to engage him/her, to ask interesting questions or give helpful advice--basically just giving your 100% to connect with people. 


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

过去的已过去 未来的还未来

这句话 是他给我寄的第一封 也是最后一封信中的一句话
每当夜幕降临 我都会好想念他 或者说 想念我们可以变得更好 更恩爱的可能

脑海中出现的画面并不是回忆 是  我们曾经有过非常美好的回忆
但是那是当初的当初 人是健忘的 有许多事情随着时间的流逝  已经记不清

过去的两年多 聚少离多 即使同在一个城市 缺鲜少分享对方的生活
就像接触频繁的过客 一期一会  总有一个人要对另一个说 拜拜

现在记忆犹新的 恐怕都是糟糕的东西
对方做的不好的事  说过的伤人的话

慢慢 因为过多的消极 感情失去了平衡
分开 似乎成了最自然的东西

我后悔的是 或许我们都可以多做点什么 但是我没有

我想拿起一把螺丝刀 乘着时光机回到过去
修修这里 修修那里
把扭曲的地方 矫正 把那些皱褶  烫平
或许那样 我想象中的可能 真的会成为现实

但是我无能为力 因为过去的已过去  还未来的未来 我们还是会分隔两地









Monday, February 10, 2014

为什么难过

当我环顾四周,这个曾经有过你的空间,我会感慨、会难过。我用想象把虚幻的你,放到我的房间里,想象着如果你看到我现在看到的一切,你会发现我许多可爱的小细节。你会发现我是个值得疼爱,值得拥有你的爱的一个女孩儿。

可惜,有些事只有在已经成为过去式之后,才会变得清晰。而有些人,只能面对这些事,看着事看着人走进回忆之后,才努力变得更好、更动人。

那些坏习惯,那些阻碍过我们的糟粕,只有在我们转身离开后,才从我们身上脱落。曾经它们是多么顽固,现在发现,不过如此而已。

但无奈的是,就算我渐渐蜕变成一个你会更爱的我,我们已经不在一起。你无法品尝到我重生的心,就像河水永远无法知道,在它滋润过的土壤上生长出来的果实,是什么滋味。河水自顾自地奔向遥远的方向,但,这不是你,毕竟你不是离开的那一个。

谁都曾经是青涩的果实。我们互相咬到了对方最苦涩的那一口,痛苦和伤害,就像许久都去不掉的残留,钻到舌根上只能灰溜溜地走。

可是当彼此渐渐成熟的时候,最终把我们摘下的,却已经不是当初的那一个。

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Preparing for PSC Scholarship Interview

I had my PSC scholarship interview two years back in March 2012. I understand that it can be one of the most nerve-wrecking interviews faced by hopeful scholars out there, and that there isn't much being shared by people who have gone through them, that's why I'm writing this, in time for the new interview cycle.  (I myself sieved through the Internet for advice, couldn't find much).

Instead of telling you the specific questions to "prepare for", I'm gonna generalize it because, a) obviously they won't ask you the same question, they might, but very unlikely.  b) for you to see the pattern and apply to suit your own case.

You know you'll be faced with 7-8 interviewers, with mainly 2-3 taking turn to ask questions. Your interview should last for 15-20 mins. 

During that time, be prepared to: 

1) Take ANY question that concerns you.

It can be anything associated with you that's reflected on your "report": your choice of uni, country of study, choice of career (most important of all), and even..your background. Every interviewer has pieces of paper laid out in front them, you can imagine what's on there. If they know you've got volunteering experience, it's likely that they'll discuss things relevant to that. This is especially likely if volunteering happens to be the highlights of current affairs at the time. 

what they asked me 
As I was born in Myanmar, the first question they asked after I barely sat down was "Which is the first country that Daw Aung San Su Kyi visited after her release from house arrest". Myanmar's opening up was a hot topic at the time, so it's kind of expected. I can discuss the topic at ease, but the question nearly caught me off guard because it's so specific, I was able to answer it only because I read the news paper at the reception while waiting for my turn. It was on the first page of TODAY, I didn't even had the time to flip. 

Yea sometimes it's luck. It's impossible to know the answer to every question, and the interviewers know it.  So when you don't know the answer, my advice is to be truthful. That's what I did. "Sorry, I don't know". They would want to see how you react to questions you have no answer to. So this lady gave me hints. (the same lady who asked about Aung San Su Kyi ), with her help I got the answer, it's like educated guesswork.  You can make it work for you, by showing that though you've no answer to that, you know the topic enough to make an intelligent guess. Even if it's an incorrect guess, you've demonstrated your ability at rational thinking. :)


2) Take questions on current affairs...

...even if they are million miles away from your field of interests. Of course they're more likely to ask you questions that are relevant to your experience in JC/CCA/Uni course, that is a given, but what differentiates PSC interview from a Ministry interview is this bit. You need to demonstrate that besides your field of interests, you pay attention to what's going on around you in and outside the country, the topics that might arise in the interview vary, depending on your profile. So be prepared to talk about it:) 

What they asked me
the expected: 
At the time of my interview, the euro-zone sovereign debt crisis was unfolding, two days before my interview France elected a new President. Since I wanted to study economics in the UK, they obviously pitched on Europe, we discussed the topic for no less than 10 mins :  why Greece's defaulting on its sovereign debt, France's new president, whether the election will help solve euro-zone's problems..etc. To be honest, a few minutes into the interview, I became rather comfortable and actually enjoyed the discussion. I'll tell you my way of preparing for all these. 

The unexpected:
The expulsion of Bo Xilai, a former Communist Party chief(薄熙来)!! I didn't see this coming at all but did know roughly what happened. So yea, prepared to talk about anything really.

3) To challenge the given 

There isn't a rigid formula, that you must say no less than two sentences to challenge the view of the interviewers. There's no answer to what you should say, when to say it and how. It's hard to strike a balance so you don't come across as overtly defiant. Here you need to trust yourself and rely on your instincts and the social self inside you. They'll ask for your opinions on a few things, as they did me, you need to demonstrate that you are able to think critically, approach the question from another perspective and so on. 

What they asked me.
(with relevance to Bo Xilai's case)     "Is he really wrong? why are many Chinese officials still paying him visits after his arrest?  (he gave a figure)"     I said something along the line of : Is that figure really representative? I just think that Chinese politics is complicated, what we observe may not reflect the underlying intentions. 

4) to discuss your decisions

This is again a given, but it's best to seriously think through them beforehand. Why that uni? why that course? why UK/US/Singapore? Why public service? Not only the big but also the small questions.

I felt  good about my interview because: 

a) I was being honest with my answers. I was honest to say "I don't know" to questions I couldn't answer, also to tell them that I've applied to another private scholarship. They did delve into that and asked why I chose that particular career and what I think about the two (Teaching for PSC). Be truthful about what you think & how you feel. 

b) I was being myself. It wont do you good to pretend like someone you are not, this is true for all interviews in general, not only scholarship ones. 

c) I engaged myself and tried to enjoy the discussion. Don't assume that they are out there to catch you, take their questions as a way to get to know you as a person, then trust yourself and answer them such that your personality, your interests/passion reveal themselves naturally. 

d) I was not trying hard to impress.  Talk only how much you know, especially topics that you are't so sure about. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, if you try too hard to impress on everything, including your weakness, you might lead them into thinking that's your strength and go in-depth on the topic.


What I did before interview: 

It's something we all need to work on, not telling you to "study" for interview, just so that you prime yourself nicely and be ready to shine!  :) I've picked up some advice from someone while researching for my own interview on the net (A big thank you to that unknown soul!), just want to share so more people can benefit, as they've worked for me. 

a) I didn't read much newspaper, instead I tuned in to news channel..

.. when I was at home doing my own random stuff (like cleaning up my room). Because...reading is boring, and I cannot absorb much by reading. Also if you realize, newspaper articles are meant to give a lot of details, date, time, quotes blah blah blah. We might lose focus and in our Kiasu spirit, try to cram in the unnecessary bits. On the other hand, TV channel delivers the news to you in smaller, more concise chunks, in a sweet and friendly female voice that's also appealing to the ears. You can absorb more with less effort! Channel NewAsia is a good option. My favourite is Phoenix TV (凤凰卫视) cuz that's what my dad used to watch every single morning. It's literally the noise backdrop of our household. If you're at home let the news rolling 24/7, the recurring topics they keep discussing on the TV will eventually stick to your brain. (Hopefully)

b) I blogged. 

This I picked up from that unknown soul on the Internet, I'm still thankful to him now. You don't necessarily need to blog, at the time I was already blogging so I naturally used it as a platform.  It's good to write about the decisions you've made, the experiences you've had, concerning your past/future, uni/courses, anything and everything. The process will help you sort out your thoughts, and solidify certain abstract things. In a way, you're finding the answers to those interview questions through reflections. So when they day comes, all you need to do is articulate what you already have in your heart. It's best if you can start doing it one or two months before hand. It's a good habit anyway so I didn't do it only for the interview:) 

Last Piece of advice 

I feel that the biggest take away from my interview is that, you can never perfectly prepare for any interview, and the best preparation you can do is to know yourself, inside out. Some questions may seem simple and the answers straight forward, but perhaps it's only until you give them serious thoughts would you know why certain things are the way they are. 


Good luck!  with lots of love <3