Saturday, September 15, 2012

Sleepover


Well the title is simple and straight to the point. Sleepover is a very special occasion for girls. I termed it "occasion" because the preparation entailed is comparable to that before a prom night.

Well, not so much fuss but still, I can't think of any other activity that girls splurge so much of their attention looking forward to, the memory of which stays with them till womanhood, when they spend equal amount of time reminiscing. 

So here I am, in a midst of a sleep over at Maria's and penning down exactly how I feel about this. The last time I was here was not exactly a sleepover. I took it as a refugee experience, while waddling in the lows of my depression. But you see how things turn out the other way, so quickly, so different. Just a year later I'm now fully enjoying the occasion, where I relax, blog about my feelings and would go to sleep looking forward to tomorrow. One thing that hasn't changed was my relationship with Maria. 

She is still the same caring person she has always been to me. We had a great time again, just like in the past, making jokes at one another and sharing parts and parcels of our life. You see, a true sleep-over is precious because it takes trust, intimacy and a faithful and unwavering girlie love. 

But I nearly lost that girlie love. We had a huge break down via phone messages, and it took a long time to heal. After all the tears, I'm just grateful that we manage to patch up and be like we used to be. That I haven't lost a very important person in my life. That I still have the privilege of camping by her bedside, a sleepover. It means a lot to me now. From now on, I'm assured that all things will fall into their old places, our trust, our feelings, our unwavering girlie love. 

How nice. How wonderful. 

From the moment she said yes to my sleepover proposal, I knew I have gotten my best friend back. What would matter more than having your loved ones to share your life with?

 I think nothing would. 

I have learnt that things as well as people are not meant to be taken for granted, they are to be treasured, if you really want to keep them by your side for a long long time......

Monday, August 27, 2012

Angels from the past-the 4th Angel


Dear Honey,

This question may still be bothering you, as you were having this feeling of negativity back on the 27th of August, more than a month ago. 

I got your message sent on your way back to camp, you told me you seemed to have lost your interest and passion for army, and was feeling very negative. And this will be the theme for today's letter, my fourth to you. 

To me, I have felt the exact same thing before, but mine was finding no more excitement in my work as a journalist in my last month with SPH. Having to wake up early everyday was a...not a very exciting thing for me any more at one point in time(Waking up itself hasn't been exciting at all for the last 21 years of my existence any way=.= except for the night when I was around 10 and I knew I would treat myself to delicious noodles the next morning I was very very eager for the morning to come ^^...) so back to the topic..I felt drained as well, the job no longer energised me like it used to, I felt bored and restless at workplace, and at times, loathed (means hated ^^) being a journalist. 

You see, hating your job and growing tired of it is just a very normal phase we ALL go through no matter what job we are working as. 

Wait.

maybe you have already come to term with this issue and have regained your passion again for army life? I hope so! In that case I shouldn't waste my time going on and on about this then ^^

I wonder when my letters usually arrive? I have no clue as I'm writing from the past you see. The real me in your time zone might be sleeping, snoring away like a pig, huddling her blanket in the cold winter, or browsing through books in the library, or munching on her lunch or dinner or showering while singing in the bathroom:)) 

 My guess is at night, around 9pm or so the letter would arrive. I have written myself one before to be sent on my 21st birthday. I hope my letters will be another physical representation of me, when the real me is busy doing her own things, these letters can bring smile to your face and keep your occupied:)) 

That's all for today! there'are more letters on the way as you are reading this. But they will only come at the time I have scheduled them to, like my little angels sending my love towards you ^^ 

Love,


San 

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Delayed Confession

Quietly, I have lived with the joy of my dream coming true, for exactly 15 days. Honestly, I have been blissfully enjoying the realization of my UK dream, every part of me is oozing with happiness and I let my heart and soul bath themselves in the pool of wild, exciting imagination of a new beginning.

Ever since that day, that message, I have become a different person, a part of me has changed, though I am sure I have been changing all the while. Boisterous, loving, energetic and brave- a testament to my recent success-I am willing to fight for what I deem I deserve with an air of confidence in myself.

This is a stark contrast from what I used to be: the withdrawn, xenophobic, cowardly and bitter old self, tossed aside in a dark corner Kent Ridge. I was hopeless, desperate and felt like losing grasp of my life. Just as when it seemed to start crumbling and slipping away between my fingers, for reasons I can't explain, I threw myself out of the huge wagon that kept pushing me forward, with all the might I could manage.

It turned out to be the best decision of my life.

Things took place all too quickly, but exactly the way they should, with a lot of personal growth gained along the way. I was multi-tasking, juggling between two full- and part-time jobs. The tight schedule helped me. in retrospect, to dissolve my potential anxiety about my "derail", by occupying my mind and keeping me busy.

Along the way, several inferior elements were shed, and in their places, I welcomed a whole new set of qualities that have quietly remade me ever since. I wasn't changed all of a sudden, but over time, shaped by many experiences I had the privilege of undergoing: the internship experiences at Bartley an SPH, they were priceless. Many people I met have been helpful, some of them enlightening. I didn't know I can speak so well and handle impromptu encounters so effortlessly, until I joined SPH as an intern journalist. That was a great leap for me, and admittedly, the period in which I grew the most.

The teaching experience, on the other hand, confirmed what I am passionate about, and gave me a reality check on what to expect and what choices to make. I have been sticking to that choice ever since. It is important as it gave me the conviction I need to embark on the journey of becoming a teacher and realizing my UK dream- the dream that was once a faraway fairytale, the dream which now lays quietly within my clutch.

It is hard to express how I have been feeling about this, as I was alone in walking the path of depression and only I myself know how much the past few months matter to me. All that I say is, for the first time in a long long time, I am feeling comfortable in my own skins.

Maybe more than just comfortable--being proud of myself.

I am now awfully loving my life,learning to look forward to the future and feeling really thankful that things have turned out the way they did.

If I were to pin point the life-changing moment, I guess it came during a session with psychologist Angela. In her words, I'm a "quietly confident, insightful and genuine person". Looking back, that was a very very important moment to me, especially when it was coming from a certified psychologist working under the Public Service Commission.

I felt recognised, I felt enlightened. That was when I realized how much I have grown and maybe, it pushed me a little to reconcile with my past, recognise it and integrate it into my new confident self. It shed some light  on my hidden good qualities, those flickering confidence, self-awareness and genuineness.  Knowing their existence, I worked on it in later months and magnified them till they can permanently reside in my soul.

I am grateful they are still here, somewhere in my heart, and I believe with them, I can go on and conquer the  wild wild world. Thank you, Angela:)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Myanmar in Motion

Myanmar in Transition---from custom-clearing at the airport to web browsing at homes and offices, Myanmar is doing things faster and with greater tolerance than ever witnessed before.

As I stood at the customs counter ready to be probed about my father's name and purpose of visit, with my teeth clenched as I uncontrollably tensed up my muscles, hands placed on the counter before my chest in an succumbing and compromising manner, reciting the answers in my head and making sure I stand right in front of the ball camera mounted on a thin wire-like stand, ready for photo-taking. 

None of these preparations came to any use, the officer passed me with a one chop on my passport, to my surprise. Even the number of chops and sizes they are using are less intimidating, considering the sheer number of times they have to stamp on papers and passport to make you a legal visitor in the past.

Progress, I thought.

The "System" and The Changes

To a person that is so used to the bureaucratic procedures, I was acute to even the slightest signs of progress. I would not ever forget having to painstakingly waste my time at the immigration centre to change my local identity card two years ago. Watching disinterested officials digging out old rotting files and flipping through physical paper records to fish out my information, while cracking jokes with colleagues or combing their hair.

That was a hell lots of information considering the laborious and highly unreliable manner they are archiving it: they have at least three generations worth of details, know the job of my grandfather and those who are immediately related. I wasn't surprised they have those. To a person that grew up in the "system", I cannot find a more representative example on the typical way things are being done in Myanmar. Or were done, perhaps, in light of the new changes.

Everything I observed yesterday was nothing like the system. It was funny how homecoming turned out to be a bit of a cultural shock and expectation fell short of reality.

Along the way home, I witnessed more to confirm the analogy. Roads are being built. But it wasn't just that: "They build it tonight and by tomorrow they are already done. It's that fast." Commented my brother. Reasonable, I thought, pointing out the safety helmets and boots the construction workers were wearing- people are better equipped with both physical facilities and a high spirit corresponding to the country's changes embraced and celebrate by the people, the most notable of which is the freeing of The Lady from house arrest. As the lady mesmerized the world as an iconic representative of her people, the people have more confidence and faith in their country and the people running it. Buildings are being erected, cinemas and shopping malls are tauting customers with mega sign boards displaying their latest instalments.  Imported cars-mainly China-made Cherry QQ in bright colors, the baby of a series of changes in import policies, are now replacing dilapidated assembly of iron as taxis, roaming the streets of Yangon.

At home, I enjoy faster and greater access to the Internet. Even the ban on Youtube that I so believed would stay forever, at least for my lifetime, is being lifted. Gmail and Facebook are no longer operating in the grey areas of inconspicuous Internet cafes, they have become boisterous in a way social media has always been in other countries. 

Obviously, the country is transforming itself with an apparent air of determination, compromising on its old, customary way of doing things that allowed anyone working in the system to rake in huge profits. It is also clear that investors are buying  in: Brands such as Samsung and P&G are the pioneers of a deluge of products and commodities, prices of which have hit its lowest in history. At the harbour located less than one kilometre from my apartment, cargo ships are piping away early in the morning amidst the hussle and bussle. Stacks of cargoes were occupying the once-deserted river bed, stretching for at least two kilometres. Smaller ships are moving in and out of harbour very minute, and two brand new weight-lifting towers have been built to facilitate  disembarkation of cargoes. Any signs of economic stagnation that had plagued every sector of the economy back in 2008 has been shed.All these a result of conscious efforts by the government to open up and loosen its grip on the economy.

However, increased efficiency in the workforce cannot be dismissed as yet another change in policy, because policy can go just that far. I see it as a result of the fusion of both hardware improvement and a more hopeful mentality. Indeed, with the benefits trickling down to the lowest of all classes, the Burmese people have more reasons to be optimistic in light of more and better job opportunities. However, as The Lady has pointed out during the meeting in Geneva, the country is still in a dire need of international help, in the form of a steady stream of investment. However, she warned, investors must be careful in where and how they invest. This country needs investment, but more specifically, investment in areas that directly benefit the people, that doesn't just serve to fatten government official's sinful purses.

Are the Changes Irreversible?

I was asked this question during an interview in the context of The Lady's first visit to the outside world in almost 20 years, and all the "positive changes" taking place within the country. Taking the progress for granted, I had not questioned that aspect of it till the question was raised. I had to admit like any native,non-idealistic Burmese person will, that these changes are indeed reversible. Remnants of yesterday's unhappiness of the people are still very much real and lingering, as shown by the graffiti I saw on the trip home from Yangon's International Airport. It says "F**k the system." along with "Working class"-a self-confession of the painter's social identity.

These words could be the out-of-place remnants of yesterday's woes, but if progress is not continued in more ways than what is already being done, and the interest of the people is not given priority admist the changes, they could well be an accurate caption for Myanmar's tomorrow.


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Excepts from the NUS-USP saga


Concluding Thoughts-by KRC writer Koh Choon Hwee
I would like to preface my concluding thoughts by first saying that some of these uncomfortable comments were made, really, by kind, genuine staff members who were just trying to rationalize the whole backlash for themselves, trying to offer me some comfort (by showing how I wasn’t at fault but Keira was) and who were also responding to immense work pressures of their own. They are dedicated staff members who have painstakingly built up a wonderful academic program over the past decade, a program many, including myself, have benefited from.
At least this is how I rationalize their actions to myself. I sincerely think that they were caught off-guard and did not know how to deal; further, the administration has put much faith in the USP students because there is this deep-seated belief that the USP students are intelligent enough and don’t need supervision. I sincerely think that their reactions have to be understood in a larger social context that is transforming the way Singapore and Singaporeans treat and view education.
As clichéd as it may sound, we have to reintroduce, or at least placed renewed emphasis on, the aspect of affective education and values inculcation. A residential college should not be purely about academic achievements, and I have learned from my semester-long stay at Tembusu College that it doesn’t have to be. My limited encounters with Professor Connor Graham encapsulated for me what a wholesome and holistic residential college experience should be like, and he has unconsciously provided me with guidance on so many occasions, mostly through example and his own actions.
Yet, professors like Prof Graham who are genuinely invested in their students and their holistic development are a rarity. As education becomes increasingly commodified, student performance becomes the standard by which an educational program is measured by. These academic programs behave like mini-corporations, engaging in aggressive publicity campaigns, vying with other programs for a “better” crop of incoming students. Students are seen less as humans but as products, to be showcased on pamphlets alongside a list of their achievements. They are to be featured in newspapers, serving as advertisement for a particular academic program.
A lot of energies are spent in building up not only a brand name, a community, but also a strong identity – all as a way to better position and ‘sell’ one’s academic program. However, the fostering of a strong identity has its drawbacks too, when students unthinkingly internalize the exclusivity of that identity and become intolerant to those who question its boundaries – as we saw in this case.
Nevertheless, we have to view this case and the actions of the USP administration (or even the Yale-NUS College or the SUTD, as a fellow KRC writer pointed out) in the larger societal context — after all, they are only responding to what our society values, and so far our society seems to value only measurable achievements. This USP backlash is, I sincerely feel, indicative of a larger malaise that afflicts our society and one that has to be taken seriously by educators and policy makers.
So much of this country’s resources are being invested in nurturing the brightest, most intelligent and high-achieving students. Academic programs like the USP is catered precisely for this demography. Yet, as the cost of living in Singapore increases, accessibility to such educational resources comes inevitably with a price tag. At such a juncture then, can we count on those who have benefitted most from the system to speak up for those who are struggling within the system? Can we count on those who are running the system, who were promoted to positions of administrative leadership, to make hard decisions?
In rapidly building the strong foundations and hardware for our education industry, have we, as a society, forgotten crucial aspects about character-building and values inculcation?
I would like to remind readers here, however, that it was only a minority of USP students who had engaged in making vicious comments, and there remain wonderful aspects of the USP, from which I have immensely benefited. I have since left the program, but I have and will continue to give back to the community.
I have confidence that the USP will be able to reinvent itself to remain relevant in tertiary education. I know that they are beginning to look into these areas that I have raised in this article, as a USP professor had requested to have lunch earlier this month with me, in order to seek my perspective on what should be done regarding the USP Facebook group and the USP house system. I believe that the USP can aspire to greater heights and that the residential colleges will become a truly safe space for learning and living.
*I would like to thank those few who had spoken up on behalf of Keira, or who had tried in their own ways to calm the furore on the USP Facebook group. There were some whom I knew personally, but many others whom I don’t.   
A note to the USP staff – I understand that much goodwill may not be left after the publication of these articles, and you may not be able to understand how I can simultaneously hold all the views expressed in these articles and yet still respect the work that you do/ have done over the past decade. As I had written in a testimonial for one of the USP directors, at his/her request, “We have had our disagreements, and will most probably continue to have them – yet it is a testimony to [his/her] maturity and magnanimity that despite my various hot-headed replies, angsty reactions and fiery ripostes, [he/she] has persevered in maintaining open lines of communication between us.”
I dare not ask for your magnanimity again, at least not towards my lone self. What I do ask for is that you take this feedback seriously — I have said all this and more in private, through what they call “appropriate internal channels”. Nothing was done.
I hope that one day we can muse at all this over tea or something, but till then let the struggles of daos and dharmas play themselves out. 


Greek problem
Law and enforcement: wasting of government resources, government expenditure burgeons on a large parasite of public sector who employs far more people than necessary, creative accounting methods that literally suck the money from the government finance. Corruption and bribery, while revenue is jeopardized by  cheating people who avoid getting taxed.
Not punishable because the judiciary, the courts take 15 years to resolve a tax evasion case

1.       The tax system: rigged to enable the entire society to cheat on their taxes
e. And this total absence of faith in one another is self-reinforcing. The epidemic of lying and cheating and stealing makes any sort of civic life impossible; the collapse of civic life only encourages more lying, cheating, and stealing. Lacking faith in one another, they fall back on themselves and their families.

2.       Masking their low credibility by manipulating the systems
As a requirement to enter the Euro-zone, the Greeks had to meet national targets, to prove that they were capable of good European citizenship—that they would not, in the end, run up debts that other countries in the euro area would be forced to repay. In particular they needed to show budget deficits under 3 percent of their gross domestic product, and inflation running at roughly German levels. In 2000, after a flurry of statistical manipulation, Greece hit the targets. To lower the budget deficit the Greek government moved all sorts of expenses (pensions, defense expenditures) off the books. To lower Greek inflation the government did things like freeze prices for electricity and water and other government-supplied goods, and cut taxes on gas, alcohol, and tobacco. Greek-government statisticians did things like remove (high-priced) tomatoes from the consumer price index on the day inflation was measured.

3.       Deficits bound by artificially strong currency
Greeks may have the slightest intention to bring about a change, but they are too hand-tied to do so anyway: their artificially strong currency deprives them of a corrective mechanism to help reduce the deficit.
The exchange rate system is not free floating; therefore currency will not depreciate against foreign currencies, making the export just as expensive as before. There wouldn’t trade surplus or increased foreign direct investment.

The root of all evil: People and their characteristics
the problems that arose because different economies responded differently to the zone’s common monetary policy were underestimated. The sudden drop in real interest rates on joining the euro in Greece, Ireland and Spain fuelled huge spending booms. (Portugal had enjoyed its growth spurt in the late 1990s in anticipation of euro membership.) Rampant domestic demand pushed up unit-wage costs relative to those in the rest of the euro area, notably in Germany, hurting export competitiveness (see chart 2) and producing big current-account deficits.
the sceptics, the economies of the euro area are too diverse to live with the same money and too inflexible to adjust to imbalances when they arise.


Difference between US’s financial crisis and Europe’s government defaults.both are a result of indiscriminant and reckless borrowing. However, in the case of US, the indebted were the people, whereas in Europe, it was a number of countries: Greece and later Italy and Spain.
The US financial meltdown involves the issue of ethics because bankers knowingly lend out the money to people with low credibility and high risk of not being able to pay up. It is more of a deliberate pursuit of money than a careless calculation. In the case of Europe however, the default was a result of confidence: people having enough confidence about government bonds sold by the banks. The government finance themselves by borrowing from the people, with banks serving as the middle man who repackage government’s bonds and sold them off to the people. Confidence motivated the people to keep buying until suddenly, the confidence vanished and not being able to pay up the loans, both governments and banks are in danger of default.
However, the US case has no question about whether to bail out the bank or not, because it is in the interest of the government and nation to do so. However, in the case of the Euro-zone, more countries were involved and the case was more complicated: people in affluent countries have bought the bonds of less well-to-do governments through their own local banks, due to the inclusion of all euro-zone countries into a single market and financial services are made available to all regardless of boundaries. Even though rich countries such as Germany would want to protect its banks and the interest of its people, it is reluctant to bail out the indebted governments with its tax payers’ money. Therefore, the dilemma.


The Dilemma: German’s role
Germans may have economic interest to help the Greeks but such as move will not be politically justified; as the Germans were promised they would never need to bail out their fellow Europeans before entering the Euro-zone.
Will the Greek banks go
European central banks have bought any government bonds from banks that originated from Greek. 450billion worth of bonds. However,they do have their bottom line and that is not to buy any bonds rated as default by US agencies. If that were to happen the indebted governments and banks would have to repay the debts to E.C.B which will probably end up insolvent itself.
Germany: bring up the Credit rating of all Europeans countries since it sort of ruled the Euro-zone, allowing countries such as Greece, its people to enjoy cheap money to buy things they cannot afford. In a way, the Germans, through their bankers, used their own money to enable foreigners to behave insanely.

When there’s crisis, positive changes may well be resulted
Countries from troubled Portugal to well-off Germany have set out plans for cutting their budget deficits. Spain has embarked on reforms to free its notoriously rigid jobs market that would have seemed unthinkable a year earlier.

The solution
New rules to encourage fiscal discipline should help the euro area. They will reassure the bond-market vigilantes—and should come in handy if the vigilantes drop off again. Now would be a good time for national governments to adopt home-grown fiscal rules, as Germany already has
Broadly, there are three ways for a country to restore competitiveness: devaluation (which reduces wages relative to those in other exporting countries), wage cuts or higher productivity.
In the euro area, the first option is out. The other two rely on easing job-market rules so that pay matches workers’ efficiency more closely, and workers can move freely from dying industries and firms to growing ones. Governments also have to tackle the lack of competition in markets for goods and services, notably in non-tradables (eg, utilities), whose prices affect the costs of other firms, including exporters. A bigger push from Brussels to open services to greater cross-border competition might do far more good than more prescriptions about debts and deficits.
Adjustment by cutting wages is quite brutal, especially without the support of an expansionary fiscal policy. An alternative would be for competitive, trade-surplus countries, such as Germany and the Netherlands, to spend more: the combined deficits of the euro zone’s “periphery” are more or less offset by surpluses at the zone’s “core” .John Maynard Keynes believed that in a fixed exchange-rate system, the burden of adjustment to trade imbalances should fall equally on deficit and surplus countries. So he proposed that excess trade surpluses should be taxed.A scheme such as this would not be easy to implement: it would be hard to gauge the point at which the saving surpluses of an ageing country like Germany become harmful. But such a proposal would at least put “creditor adjustment” on the agenda.




Monday, May 28, 2012

Teaching Chinese Language: An Uphill Task

In my last entry, I highlighted the various changes and revisions that the MOE has made and put in place to facilitate the learning of Chinese Language. Looking at these, one is justified to feel optimistic about the future of Chinese Language in our schools and among our students. Then again, if one acquaint oneself with the challenges faced by our teachers in executing these changes proposed, one will be hesitant to do so.

The Pressure to Cover the Syllabus 
Teachers are bogged down by the pressure to finish the syllabus.
Classroom teaching tend to be dictated by syllabus, but not student-centric as proposed by the Curriculum Committee.I remember my mentor who was a mother tongue teacher telling me that the teachers feel obigatory the finish the syllabus before exams, because if they do not, parents will complain when their children score unsatisfactory marks.

Essentially, it is disturbing to realise that they are covering the syllabus to silence the parents' complaints. But it lessons are conducted merely for this purpose then it has deviated from the purpose of education ,which is to instill interest and motivation to learn.Rushing through the syllabus is not only dry and boring, but emotionally stressful and distracting to teachers-they are so overwhelmed with the supposed need that they have no energy to plan for something extra or interesting.

The lesson plan is too packed for that.

The Two Problems
1. Schools at times might not be able to execute what the MOE has planned, they are too hand-tied to.

In this case, that is having to juggle between the various activities held in Mother Tongue Week, which are already eating into their lesson times and covering the syllabus with the limited time that they have. Teachers end up not being able to orientate their lessons such that they are student centric, or make them interesting to arouse students' interest.

2. MOE policies might be counter-effective when the stakeholders are not giving their individual support.

The result: school resources are strained, teachers are left feeling exhausted, and students still have to sit through not-so-interesting lessons.

Recognising the Stakeholders and Proposed Solutions 
Stakeholders:
Schools, teachers, students even external vendors/educational agencies and most importantly Parents.

Solutions

(A)Better "instruction and feedback" system.
When instructions and goals are cascading down to individual departments and teachers, it is necessary to give their feedback which should be taken seriously, into consideration for further changes in the prorgamme.

(B) Involving All Stakeholders
All stakeholders should be involved in the execution of any programme
I still think that parents are not made aware of the importance of learning Chinese, in this case in an interesting and stimulating way, should override the chore of covering the syllabus.

Because by nature, language is not like science that can be taught. And there should always be flexibility such as not avoid setting questions that do not cover the syllabus without compromising on the standard of the accessment. Parents should be involved so that they understand both the importance of such programme and tolerate/applaud such flexibility to faciliate learning.


(C)Developing a Mature Sector of Private Educational Agencies
The MOE might want to invest on external vendors to share the administrative work
I think certain policies can be more successful if they are supported by adequate resources, the most important of which being the human resources.


I have first hand experience of how a teacher can be so bogged down by administrative work which they can neither do professionally nor willingly without making sacrifices, resulting in inefficiencies. For example, having to play the role of an art director/choreographer and stage manager all at the same time, for a particular class during MTL week, not forgetting she has to be accountable and responsible for other classes.

I suggest the MOE can develop a mature sector of private educational agencies which can do the job more professionally.Schools can engage them effortlessly to execute a series of activities. Currently the schools can engage certain outside vendors,but they are limited in choice and some programmes are out of sync with the MOE's over-arching aim of the programme. But I believe if they are treated as stake holders and are kept well informed and well-paced with the latest developmental goals from the MOE, they will be able to contribute more.