It's Almost Time to Bid the First Goodbye

I put in quite a bit of effort to blog because sometimes I feel a sense of urgency, an compulsion to pen down those wonderful moments in my life that I know would be hard to come by again. It's about the feelings in your inner self, when pure bliss and happiness meet the overwhelming realization of how blessed you are. If you understand what I mean :)

That's the urge behind almost every post of mine. My hope is simple, I envision myself going through the old posts one by one, giving them a silent smile as those good old memories flash by in like an old movie.

Wonderful time.

Tonight was one of those times. It's the same bunch of us, with Gin, Nish and Stefanie. Though dinner was what we went out for, the walk around the city is what totally captured the mood. Not so chilly night, four friends walking up a hilly street, each harbouring wild excitement about going home, some doing occasional hop and throwing of fist into the air (me!) because that damn good feeling is simply overwhelming.

Of course when you do that you know that you are having a great time, and having a great time isn't that complicated. A simple meal (albeit very very filling!), and walking up a street and catching glimpses of the entire city lights downhill is just sufficiently amazing. A few compliments from the gals about my new puffy "head-gear" added to making my day (or night!).

A few ideas have been hovering around, like house-hunting for next academic year, and gift-shopping for friends back home. But all are flimsy and short-lived because my whole heart and soul have been devoted to enjoy this pre-departure bliss, undeniably! I'm desperate to take in as much of the city experience I can make during the remaining time here as possible, before I bid my first good-bye.Like a fish gasping for air, I want more more more of Nottingham!

I may sound hyper but this is definitely spontaneous. I've realized this early, and asked myself what I would want to have done before leaving, when the time comes.So I made a list of all the things I want to do before leaving the lovely place (and snuggling under my blanket, typing away on my blog is definitely one of the best of them all!). The time is almost here, and I've done many of the things on the list, like catching up on work, jogging around Beeston and campus, having a lovely meal with the gals.

And of course, like so many times before, I feel very very blessed, and gratitude swamped my heart. Again. God! Every time! (Can't help it!) I AM indeed the lucky one, favoured by life itself, and having more than I can ever ask for.

In the words of my new-found favourite: " 2012 ist wirklich mein Glückstag Jahr! Dies ist, wenn mein neues Leben beginnt."

A blissful and grateful San.

A Glance at the Past Month

As life settled into routine, the initial excitement and sensational feelings quickly wore off. At some moments I find it hard to believe that just a few weeks back I was feeling so happy, so thrilled, to be in a new place. I felt so blessed, always seemed to be in a state of ecstasy. I don't know how much of it remains to stand against the test of time, but I sure need to know the answer to that blissful happiness, and refresh the reasons that made me so happy.

I gave it a little thought, and here are some of the reasons I THINK which made me happy:

a) I was in a completely new place-- exciting in its own right! Plus, it's the place I've always wanted to be!
b) The consciousness of being a Scholar, manifested in realizing how privileged I actually was, now that consciousness has become of how much expectations I am under.
c) Meeting new people! Lots of energy to meet new people, had an open mind about people and things, was very welcoming in general.
d) Doing things in different ways! had the little suite to myself for the first time, enjoyed decorating the room and making use of kitchenette.
e) Constantly seeing new things! even a walk in Beeston used to be so rewarding, and invoked so much good feelings from within.

On the other hand, here are some of the things which make me wonder if I'm living up to my expectations of a happy life:

a) I don't find interest in many things now, each day feels bland and tasteless.
b) Have fewer number of enjoyable conversations compared than in the first two weeks of being here.
c) Making less effort to make new friends and do new things.
d) Communicate less often with families and friends back home.
e) Motivation towards a well-balanced life and to works have dropped considerably.
f) Little emotions and excitement felt as compared to before. Very little things to look forward to.

Phew, the list seems long.Secretly I am hoping that it's just a natural progression as things really started to settle down. However somehow I just feel that I can do better, and things can be better. So far I don't know what's is missing in the puzzle, but I am determined to find out, and correct it. I am determined to get excited about life, to realize once again how much I have been blessed with, and be grateful for it, every single day.

The icing on the cake is that, I always believe tomorrow will be better:)

So, Cheers!

Book Affair: Animal Spirits

---- George Akerlof, Robert Shiller

I have procrastinated on writing a review on this book, mainly because I hardly enjoyed reading it for any of its content to have lasting memory in my brain, and I didn’t have an easy time trying to recollect what I thought to be the gist of the book.Well, I guess had it not been on our reading list I would probably have passed it. Nonetheless, having decided to take reading list seriously, and not wanting to stumble on the first book I picked, it is necessary that the following paragraphs are given attention.

Akerlof is a respected economist who has won Nobel Prize for uncovering the theory of asymmetric information as another market failure, famously known as the “lemon problem”. That makes up for his relative lack of talent in presenting economic insights in an interesting way.

Akerlof and Shiller discuss the themes of corruption, stories, and feeling of fairness, exuberance of confidence and the lack of it, as forces shaping economic decisions or the absence of it. They highlight the importance of emotions and traits essentially tied to human sentiments, as opposed to the conventional wisdom of perfect rationality, in causing economic phenomenon we struggle to explain.

With the backing of experiments and historical data, Akerlof and Shiller are able to explain how our delusional beliefs, vulnerability to stories and the concerns over fairness tend to override economic consequences more than we have given credit for. Markets where such random fluctuations are rampant are obviously infested with “animal spirits”, and they include the stock market (confidence), property market (stories) and financial products (corruption).

Just to be more specific, human beings are forgetful. Contrary to “learning from mistakes”, we are blissfully oblivious of the past, and thus swing to stories and word-of-mouth information. Our delusions

On top of introducing unconventional ideas, the book sheds some light on economic forces that we are already familiar with and have probably taken granted for. For example, the authors explain the reasons why central banks have overwhelming power in the control of money supply. It has never puzzled me that just by withdrawing from and supplying the market with limited amount of money, the central banks are able to influence interest rate. The truth behind this magical trick should be the reward for a curious mind, and therefore, I should not spoil the fun of it.

When exploring the moral ground of current financial products, the authors invoke some reflections of the demerits of capitalism and call for greater regulations in such vulnerable markets.  That people, inherently governed by our “animal spirits”, would be tempted to devise ways to sell snake oil to the unsuspecting when given a chance in laissez faire.

Human beings are forgetful. They forgot how the previous depression started, and end up in another depression just like the previous one. Yet stories live to tell the tales of the past, to such an extent that even in modern time descendants  are still psychologically framed in the context of past sufferings of unfair treatment, upon which their world view and self-identity are built. This explains why there has been stubborn poverty within certain minority group in a society.

Akerlof and Shiller hope that as soon as we start treating those turbulent floods of emotions as part of economic reasoning, we would repeat less of past tragedies, and government would be encouraged to harness that animal spirits and channel them into constructive forces in building a more robust economy.

Mind you, it's just the beginning

No title will capture the gist of this entry, because it’s about the wealth of intense gratitude I have been feeling for the life I’m living now. It’s simply great, more than great, the simplicity of which is beyond the master of my language, the striking effect of which will be with me in a long time to come.

Every now and then, I paused in whatever I was working on, and looked out of the window. My mind will be overwhelmed by the tranquility outside, and the coziness inside the window. My room is the physical representation of the wealth of materialistic and non-materialist privileges that I have been blessed with. It is the epitome of the sweet reward of a journey travelled long and hard. The window overlooking a very British weather symbolizes my access to the education, to the culture and everything UK has to offer here. The books, my laptop and every tool and stationary belonging to me, is the details that complete the reward.

I am literally living my dream.

There was, at numerous occasions, where I visualized myself enjoying life in the UK.  Most of them were self-contained, I dared to dream big. But even the bravest person would not harbor blinding faith. Like many others, I had doubts over whether the dream would really come true, whether my efforts would really pay off. Nonetheless, I must admit these thoughts were quickly dismissed, if they were considered in the first place at all, in favor of my endless fantasizing.

Many of those around me expressed disbelief that I had given up everything I had in chase of a dream that had little hope of materializing. In retrospect, my heart skips a little when I try to reconcile my then brave decisions with the entire situation. The decision didn’t seem to fit very well into the larger picture considering how getting picked up by the PSC was such a close shave, and how rigorous the selection process was.

But I have made it, and for that I am very proud of myself.

It was probably the best decision I have ever made and will ever make in my entire life—being proactive to change my life for the better, and fighting against all odds for a dream I knew I deserve.

An acquaintance I used to work with on a brief project that ended prematurely, whom I haven’t talked to since that encounter, called me a dream chaser. She hopes to chase her dreams one day like how I chased for mine. Closer friends expressed awe and admiration for my brave decision. These were like icing on a cake, such statements made me feel happy because my endeavor is touching the lives of many, even a much distanced acquaintance.

However, I must say that the journey has not come to an end. On the contrary, studying here on scholarship is just a beautiful beginning. Though it’s clichéd, it’s very much true that I have moved into a brand new chapter of my life, and the future will never be the same. Though it’s unwritten, It can only be better than it could ever get. For that I’m very sureJ  I have proven just how hard I have tried for that scholarship, now I am going to show myself all the good things I can make out of my life, my time here and the scholarship itselfJ

Start them early

and drop the assumptions and ignorance on pre-school education

Childhood education, formative years, resources and attention better spent during early childhood than teen. These were the buzzwords I encountered today through two pieces of articles. One was what I read off The Economist, on importance of pre-school education, the title of which I borrowed for this blog entry. Another was an application essay one of my best friends wrote on the problem of orphans and how the society can do better to resolve the issue. There is a powerful link between the two articles and I could not help but paused to think about their common themes put at the forefront of both articles.It is the potency of one’s childhood experience in shaping the person into destructive or “constructive members of society”, as my friend put it. She wants to fight for greater resources and attention on orphans, as she believes childhood is too important to be wasted in the mystery of an orphaned state. We need to rescue as many orphans and as early as possible, the key in them becoming constructive members of society.

Here I must admit my ignorance. I had never thought about the issue of early childhood education in such context. I thought Singaporeans, or just parents in general are being paranoid and pre-school education is a product of our “kiasu” attitude. I despised the idea of institutionalising children as young as 2 or three. I thought it is a sin, not knowing that it is actually, a privilege.

The Economist shed light on how fund-lacking schools in Texas are trying their best to provide state-funded pre-school programmes to children from poor family. Educators and society as a whole recognise the importance of early childhood education in character-building and preparing them for formal education, the key to getting out of poverty.

Indeed, if education is the game-changer for the underprivileged, we want to make sure they don’t miss out because they can’t afford pre-school programmes that give other kids a head start.

But to brand pre-school education as a stepping stone to academic excellence for future education is a shallow thought—my ignorant thinking. It is more about building character, positioning the child in the wholesome and healthy state of mind for more to come.

I have taken things for granted. And some Singaporean parents who feel that pre-school education has been shoved on their faces might have, too. And meanwhile schools in the US are thinking creatively to stretch their thin funding to cover as many children as they can.

Let us all be more appreciative of the programme, and leave no room for assumptions and ignorance whenever education of our children is concerned.

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More of Parental Efforts, Please

Many express concerns that a student-centric, value-driven education model is good on paper but far-fetched in reality. Some blame the society as a whole for emphasizing too much on the academics while others urge the government to scrap major examinations like the A and O levels to make way for a student-centric restructuring of our education system.

I do not think scrapping the examinations will be a solution to dissolve all concerns, simply because their existence is not the cause of current worries. The G.C.E examination models are adopted by quite a number of countries, and many other countries have their own equivalent of such. These exams have not caused as much controversy as they do in Singapore. I honestly think it is more about Singaporeans’ attitude towards examinations than the exams themselves. This attitude can be influenced both by the parents and teachers.

It is always my belief that education is about partnerships, about parents, teachers and schools all playing to their best effort their roles assigned by the system in which we all strive hard in. In this case, opinions tend to focus on how teachers can or cannot adjust to achieve a student-centric approach to teaching. The single-mindedness I have seen is unfortunate, as they seem to have assumed no responsibility on the part of the parents, who are the ones enrolling their children in extra curriculum classes and paying for their children’ tuition fees, and thus contributing to the current academic-driven educational approach we all dislike.  

Though I understand parents’ sentiment of falling victim to the “system”, of playing to the tune of the mainstream, that doesn’t mean I believe it is the case. Parents, more than any other person, can help shape our children’s thinking (result-oriented or value-driven), essentially, it has the biggest stake and biggest say in helping to achieve the desire outcome. Because of this, it is my opinion that parents should do more than they are now, also more than the teachers and the schools.

On the other hand, the system, which comprises of schools and policies, is steering to the right direction, albeit very slowly and gradually. But yes, we are moving forward. Permanent Secretary of Education Policy, Ms Chan Lai Fung unveiled several key initiatives of MOE towards achieving student-centric and value driven education model during Work Plan Seminar 2012. The idea behind such initiatives is that the system actually recognises the need for values, and is trying its very best to put into practice such focus on values, contrary to popular belief.  As such, individuals should align their mentality in accordance with new changes for the whole education process to be truly value-driven. By that, I am referring to students and parents, not only teachers.  

MOE has made efforts within its capability to upgrade individual school, ease schools’ award chase in general without compromising on standard. It has streamlined its school assessment and evaluation model to help schools better focus on developing their students holistically. Sweeping changes were made to the Masterplan of Awards this year. In addition, school banding by academic results has been removed, and in its place, is the incentive by MOE to develop a distinctively niche area of excellence, accessible to all schools.

“Basically, we want to refocus the effort of schools to do the things that would meet the specific needs of their students. And we want to emphasize collaborative efforts that would help level up the entire school system.”
                                                                                                                           --- Ms Chan

With this, MOE has pitched in the first of many initiatives to come, hopefully by all stake-holders of the education of our children. I am sure our teachers will follow suit, as they, more than anyone else, are a lot of change-makers. It signals that it might time for the parents to think of how they, the biggest stake-holder of all, can help to achieve a student centric and value driven education for their children.

Blogging as A Need and Motivation

Being in my dream place puts me in the best position to discuss what helps and what doesn't when it comes to succeeding at interviews, be it for internship, scholarship or just for everyday socialising. If I were to name a few secret ingredients for that success recipe, keeping a diary, blogging or anything in that nature will definitely be at the top of my list.

Here I would have to thank an unknown person whose article I stumbled upon. It introduced me to the idea of blogging as a means of combing through one's thoughts and keeping track of ideas. It might well be the sweetest catalyst of change in my entire existence. Well, point is, keeping a blog or something of that sort DOES help loads! It helped me tremendously with organizing my thoughts, reconstructing fruitful experience and getting the most out of everything.

You see, you don't just go through things in a blur and expect them to make you grow, because you simply would NOT grow with you being passive. One needs time to reflect and ponder on the whole experience again-like waiting for things to settle down before taking a step back to have a good look at the bigger picture. More often than not, reflection, rather than the experience itself, is the most quality growth period for me to gain new ideas and insights. And when I blog, I do exactly that.

For this, I express my utmost gratitude again to this unsung hero of my being.

More importantly, I happy to have found a new meaning to my blog, my very own creation that had helped me achieved my dream. Knowing how much it helps me, and having taken up a new role as a MOE scholar, I am thinking of using it as a platform to keep track and reflect on issues concerning Singapore's education sector. This would help me keep up with the developments of the local educational landscape, and with my full heart and soul, dictate my personal growth, so that I'll mould myself into a teacher, a leader and a policy-maker that Singapore's education system will one day come to need.

This is a mission I see myself  accomplishing. And I'm really really happy that my humble blog that has come so far with me, is still with me on the mission. :)

My dream place: