Simplicity is the truth

I have finally finally got myself back, through something even I find it weird.

What I used to be or what I finally AM now?

Composed, sharp, intelligent and witty.

Full of smiles and confidence, with finesse and yet down-to-earth air in her strides.

Ale to strike up a conversation and more importantly, maintain it.

Able to take pride in what she is doing, or will be doing.

Able to think intelligently,speak confidently and talk wise thing.

It all boils down to being simple.

I used to be simple, I was not for a period of time, and now?

Back to basics.

It has something to do with that move of selling off my galaxy tab. I reckoned the absence of my dear smart phone has woke me up and restored me to the aforementioned state.(No it's not a joke, I know it sounds ridiculous even to a five-year-old but it WAS what actually happened). by removing distractions and bad moods that came along with the phone.

What I have now is a Nokia 5800, basic device, but pretty good at surprising me. I managed to get hold of some vital if-not-how-am-I-able-to-survive kind of apps, map(though highly underdeveloped), bus schedule(so far valueless as trains is my main method of transport), whatsapp (this is a big deal, a key feature associated only with smart phones, to me), youtube(absolutely cool) and FACEBOOK (absolutely AWESOME).

I've realized, after the tab's gone, that I knew only half of what I installed in my apps, and actually used a fraction of them.

As Fariz said "It's good to be ignorant"

It's only good, it's crucial. In this world of chaos, one where more than one systems run and try to nudge out the others for ultimate triumph, we need to be steadfast, we need to HOLD ON to the basics, know our roots(where we came from) and our destinations(where we want to go)we need to know what we actually want to have as opposed to what the world wants us to have. Too many of the times we are bogged down by the later, forgetting the first. What happened today, was that, I have taken a small step towards finding myself. It's a small step forward, but definitely the beginning of many wonderful stuffs.

I'm starting to love my life and look forward to the future. To tomorrow. I'm satisfied, and it feels damn good to be so.

The rat race

I don't know if this is the life I want, exactly.

These few days I didn't seem to have time to rejuvenate myself, very little private time.

I did have a choice, but with overwhelming influences and distractions it's hard to resist.

How I want now to go back to my PGP, left alone to enjoy the peace and solitude.

loneliness at times can be a very very luxurious privilege that not many people can get.

I haven't been getting it for a long while now, and I terribly need them back.

It's funny how conflicting our insides can get, trying desperately to escape solitude at one moment and then resisting real hard to restore it the next.

where's my mid range? before you realize it, you have already lost it.

1st Teaching Experience

Fariz is kind enough to get hold of a marker for me. Bravo to this young man. He has the most sunny smile I’ve ever seen off a guy’s face. You can’t help but feel at ease with this chap. Fresh out of Junior College and still treating everyone like an angel, in his special way of course. He can be too straightforward and unapologetic for the sensitive souls. That made my day.

Office rule number one, offer your little helpful hands here and there, especially to the newcomers.

First Teaching Experience.

Fariz and I both preferred full autonomy over the class to semi-supervision from the mentor when we are going to have our first lesson, the presence of an onlooker whom you know are out there to observe you put you on your nerves. Of course, they’re there to observe for all the good reasons. I could tell this because it really makes a huge difference having lesson with and without the presence of the mentor.

I had to give an actual lesson to my 3 E1 earlier than planned due to Kah Yang’s unexpected absence from school. He was kind enough to leave me a instructional note on what to do, and sent me a text messages with greater and helpful details. I appreciate the tips.

Secretly, I was overjoyed at first and ambiguous when the lesson time drew close.

Without mentor on 16^th Jan

Rowdy class, agitated students that wanted to go off early and didn't put the slightest effort in trying not to let it show. I had to raise my voice throughout the lesson and still, one student commented “Cher, cannot hear”. *students talking at the back*

“Maybe if you don't talk that much you’ll be able to hear me clearer.” Obviously they didn't see the link and the noise level continued.

My morals fell right through my heart and lungs and small intestines to the floor.

I picked them up and pressed on, finishing the lesson in huge beads of sweat and finally was able to heave a huge sigh of relief.

Feedback from student

Apparently the students at the back couldn't hear me clearly, neither could they see my handwritings on the board. I had a casual interview with one of the girls. They also suggested that I could pay more attention to classroom management in order to produce a conducive environment for teaching and learning.

With mentor on 18^th Jan

Well, the mentor, with his mere presence, had a huge impact on the class. According to Mr Liu, “As a teacher, you need to train them to auto-tune their behaviour to your expectation from day one.” By that standard, my first lesson on my own was a failure. I have failed to establish my standards from the beginning. It would be hard to reverse their impression of me as a soft and submissive teacher and reinsert the stern side of me.

I had prepared as much as I could for this lesson, even jotting down the things I would want to say, and notes I would want to write on the board. I made a sequential note of the things I wanted to say and write, and ran through the list to make sure I covered the necessary content for the particular topic, Standard Forms and its Computation. Mr Liu observed my entire lesson and had several points that he raised with me at the end of it.

Feedback from Mr Liu

In retrospect, Mr Liu was correct in pointing out that in my anxiety to rush through the content in the fear of unlimited time, I have inadvertently overlooked the students’ response and student-teacher interaction. As I have mentioned previously, Bartleyians are known for their shyness in class: they tend to shun away from questions and refrain from asking one themselves. Misconceptions would be masked by the meek nodding of heads, and it would take initiatives from the teachers to really test out the students’ understanding, and more importantly, “to get them thinking”.

Besides this crucial point, here is the compilation of other minor points from Mr Liu:

Whiteboard presentation: knowing when to erase and what to erase, by observing whether students have finished copying or still had their heads burrowed.

Classroom management: laying down the ground rules and getting the students ready in terms of discipline and alertness BEFORE the lesson proper.

Watching out for puzzled expressions and asking thought-provoking questions: a strategy to adopt in dealing with shy students.